“Can you cook?

 “No”.

 “Would you like to learn?” 

“No”.

“How would you cook for your husband?”

  “I’ll marry a rich man who can hire lots of maids and a cook”

 This is an actual conversation which I had recently. As funny as it may seem, this may be the thought of many ladies. Even if they have never said it aloud, why are many single women not practicing how to keep a home?

If you have ever consciously  refused to learn a skill that will be useful to your home and your family, such a decision would be tragic and dangerous because when you depend on someone else to do all the things that you cannot do at home they can hold you to ransom. Too many things could go wrong, and in a time when things are constantly changing, they systems you depend can fail you. When I was a little girl, our domestic help decided to run away; imagine if my mother did not know how to cook, it would have been a disaster!

In a century where the duty of mothers and wives is delegated to nannies, cooks, and maids I stand desperate for change. Yes life happens and there are times when we all( or at least yours truly) dreads the amount of chores that awaits every single day, but, there is honour in cooking for your man, in cooking for your kids, in changing a dirty diaper, sweeping the floor and making the bed. Even when you have someone to help, there is a special grace and love when your home has the touch of your fingers laced through everything.

Please do not become a statistic of the woman who went out chasing dreams, while the maid was ‘servicing’ the man of the house. So many children see their nannies as their mothers, the one they turn to for counsel and share their intimate secrets with because ‘mummy dearest’ is nowhere to be found.

I am not saying that all women should quit their jobs and move home; it is not practical or doable for all women to cook every meal, clean and care for the domestic needs of their homes every single day. All I am saying is they should at least know how and be willing to do so every now and then, to leave their ‘mark’ on their home. This should also be a gift to pass on to their children- male and female, a bonus is teaching your children how to cook and supervising them to make their own beds and clean the house is a good way to ‘bond’ and teach them essential values.

Whether you do chores or not, remember to put your heart in to the things that matter the most. Do not become a slave to the kitchen and the floors, keeping the perfect home that you no longer remember that it is the people in the home that matter the most. Also do not go chasing dreams to have nothing else but regrets and unfulfillment for comfort.

It is understandable that you may be too busy to do all the domestic chores in your house and you cannot spend as much time with your family as you would want, when there is a will, there is a way; as long as you do all in power to let those closest to you that they are the most important thing, your heart is in the right place.  

I am an advocate of purpose, fulfilment, and women empowerment. I believe women can do everything they set their minds achieve. I believe we should be allowed to chase and dreams and soar without feeling guilty. But, no matter our achievements, we need to manage our homes as well as our careers. Know what is happening in your children’s lives, cook your husband’s meals whenever you can. It is not only romantic, but it is a good place to start when the ‘bedroom’ fire needs rekindling. Keep your matrimonial bed sacred; it will not kill you to make the bed you sleep on before you rush off to work.

Modern men may not be vocal about it, but I believe they still love a woman who does not mind taking care of them the way their mothers did. Wear your heels, pencil skirts and suits in the morning and when you get back, take them off and be there for your family.

 Our ‘lady parts’ which develop only after a certain time serve as a reminder that we are caregivers, nurturers, builders and home makers. We were built soft on the outside and tough on the inside so that we can make our families feel safe and loved by our softness and we can take on the world and its challenges with unbelievable strength.

You are more than able to be a CEO and a wonderful mother and with a little patience, balance, and wisdom; but one should not be sacrificed on the altar of the other. I am calling for a new generation of women; true women who earn the respect and admiration of the world on the shoulders of the respect and love our families have for us.

P.S: Do not fall for the temptation to become ‘super woman’ who must do everything by herself, to ‘keep’ her home and chase her dreams. We all need help every now and then, and it is okay to ask for help. The help can range from scrubbings floors, ordering a meal, or simply a friendly shoulder to cry on when you feel overwhelmed. Choose your inner circle wisely (fathers and children included), ask for help when you need it and be willingly to offer help as well! To the greatest generation of women that world has seen, I salute you!