Holla!

 If green is your absolute favourite colour in the world, I apologize. I like certain shades of green; I think it embodies nature, good energy, prosperity and all things healthy but it is also used to embody two things: When you are sick, and when you are filled with Jealousy and Envy.

With all the talk about climate change, global warming and the need for us to ‘go green’ to save the planet, I would have thought that by now there would be a new colour to depict such an ugly word, but no, ‘green with envy’ is still is the dictionary

Envy, also referred to as the green-eyed monster, is defined as painful or resentful awareness of another’s advantage joined with the desire to possess the same advantage in material goods, social status etc.

The danger of envy is that it is in all of us, and sadly it is socially acceptable. It may not be encouraged at extreme levels, but if anything, many women go to extreme lengths to provoke envy in other women.

Capitalists have made a fortune from envy ridden women who have gone to dangerous lengths to fit in, be admired or seem like they are better than everyone else. Purses, shoes, cell phones, dresses, hairstyles, and even unnecessary elaborate events held on a whim have been done just to provoke envy.

The conversation of many a woman when they meet with another woman is to either discuss a woman they dislike or speak about things in their lives to provoke as much jealousy as they can.  It is said that women tend to flock together to create ‘envy parties’, also known as ‘gossip clicks’, women who have misery in common instead women who fight to have joy in common.

Many a woman often make the mistake of ‘sizing’ other women, placing them in a ‘class’ or group above, beneath or on their level’. They hate those close to them who seem to be ‘above’ them yet crave for models to inspire them.

Many women make the mistake of comparing themselves with other women, looking at their figure, their purses, shoes, jobs, business, husbands, children, bank accounts to determine where they fit in society at the risk of their peace of mind and personal all round wellness. 

If a mysterious woman walks into a room, women in the room most likely will stare at her hair do, shoes, nails and probably listen in for her accent. If she is too gorgeous, some will hope she is illiterate or is a skank who came to see her ‘pimp’.

If a female staff newly comes on board, existing female ‘power groups’ will observe her closely to know if she will be one of them (obviously under their wing in awe and submission) or she will compete with them. If every male in the office pays her a compliment, the alarm bells go off. If she is excellent at her job, a war is declared.

I may not have statistical figures to prove it, but I believe that the stagnation and probably the fall of many innocent women who have been ‘set up’ in the work place is as a result of envy probably from fellow women who felt threatened.

Many women have entered wrong romantic relationships, may be even marriages just to get the nod of society, to belong to a circle of ‘happy envy’ that could easily turn to circle of miserable dream chasers.

Refuse to do something just because you want to make people jealous, refuse to look at someone wishing you had their life without being willing to pay the price to get yours the right way. Women who envy and always compare themselves to others, never enjoy peace that contentment can bring or have blessing of being truly fulfilled, because their happiness depends on having what other people do not have.

It is impossible to envy people and be bouncing off the walls with joy at the same time. Staying happy and joyful is tough enough with hormones and life cycles producing mood swings and a whirlwind of emotions that can bring out the worst in us without adding envy to the package.

Refuse to compare yourself with other women, no matter how similar your life or situation may be to theirs. There are chances the woman you envy has secret battles and tears that could kill the green-eyed monster in you once you hear about them.

“Rejoice with them that rejoice, weep with them that weep “is the best solution to keeping envy at bay.

It is painful that some women look for mean things to say about other women in order to feel better about themselves. Celebrating the good that comes to others will help attract good to you.

As women, we need to complement each other more, celebrate the beauty and greatness in others without despising our own. You may not have what the next lady has, but there is something you have that she does not have.

To focus on what other people have, or to compare yourself with other people is to insult the unique creative abilities of God who has made every woman’s journey and story different on purpose.

There are no two trees in the world with exactly the same height, number of fruits, flowers or branches even if they are planted at the same time in the same place with access to exactly the same amount of sunlight, rainfall and nutrients from the soil.

If there is anything or anyone you must compare yourself to, it must be your past self, your present goals and your future dreams and ambitions.

You are one of a kind, and so is every woman around you. It is time for us to celebrate the women around us by default and stop comparing ourselves or trying to pull each other down.

If green is the colour of envy, green is the colour to hate. Envy is the sister of worry, hatred and sadness which leads to wrinkles and more ugliness.  We need more women celebrating and uplifting each other.

Together, let us make a pact and join those who are fighting hard to erase the wrong and evil saying that women cannot support, praise, encourage and uplift their own. To every inspirational woman out there, doing great things and looking great while doing it, I salute you. Every woman is beautiful and has a lot to be envied, and for this I celebrate you. To the next generation of incredible, amazing and supportive women. I salute you!